When loops are finally closed…

Yesterday, I finally visited a castle that I had countless opportunities to visit over the years, and never did. I hesitated, on the threshold of my past limitations. Shall I default to my old habitual excuses and nos? When there seemed to never have been a choice previously, there was a pause instead, and an understanding that yes, perhaps this time around, I could go, I didn’t have to flee.

I did go, and, in grace, the universe was gentle with me, closing off, in works, rooms that would have been triggering to my past self, my past lives. 

There are places, sites, cities, countries, we long to go too. Others, we avoid like the plague. Some others yet are neutral, unvisited territories. In the midst of our likes and dislikes, I foresee tendencies of our past lives and traumas inhabiting our bodies and geographies.

But when the traumas have been healed, removed, lived through, processed, integrated, what remains of the places we were dreaming of, and those we would have never wished to go to? Where do you go, or not go, when neutrality has seeped through your bones and terrains, when it’s only a matter of preference, light and joy, rather that survival and life or death? What do you choose? What do you risk? Where is the engine, that was once before, stemming from need?

Yesterday I visited Edinburgh castle. It was beautiful, and neutral, ghosts shimmering in paintings and stories, in honour and gratefulness of a closing.

Where do you go, when you are not playing anymore the loops that were yours and never yours?

That’s what I’m eager to find out and share with you in the months and years to come.

Stay tuned…